I’m 19 dating a 38 year old. What will my parents say?

So, I’ve just got into a relationship with a good friend of mine. I’m 20, he’s 38. He’s married! (seperated). He has 3 children…. Oh Shit!
All this terrifies me, this isn’t what I saw as my future. At least not until I found Jon. I’m in love, totally and uterlly in love. They always say you can’t help falling in love and this is such a true statement. I’m so happy but so scared. Excited but anxious.

“What’s my mum and dad going to say?”  This question was my biggest fear; I love my parents dearly and I’ve always been very close to them but what will they make of their baby girl dating an older man, an older married man? How can I tell them? Do I just turn up at home with him? Phone call? Text?
After much consideration I decided to write my mum a message. It took a very long time to construct and get the wording right. I explained how I felt and that I understand it’s not ideal but sometimes you have to follow your heart and take chances. SEND.

Now waiting for a response was one of the longest 10 minutes of my life, such a mixture of emotions whisking through my head, my hearts racing. You hear stories of parents rejecting their child due to who they date, I’m terrifed.

*1 new message* deep breath…. “If you’re happy then we will support you”
OMG such a relief! Why did I ever underestimate them. This short sentence meant so much to us.

Jons parents really didn’t mind either. What was all the worry about.
As my Mum said and still says often:

“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”

This quote is 100% accurate.
You don’t read much about age gap relationships but I’ve often felt like it’s a major issue (to some people). We have both lost many so called friends by being together, even one or two family members. But we have those that stayed, those that don’t care and they’re the ones we want in our lives. I found it hard, feeling like people are looking at us in the streets, sniggers, “sugar daddy” comments. I do still find it hard sometimes but I’m more and more finding it easier to not care what people think.
I’m so eternally grateful to our true friends and our parents as even when we’ve had a rough ride, theyv’ve never failed to be there!


One thought on “I’m 19 dating a 38 year old. What will my parents say?

  1. Love wins. It’s not about the age.
    I’m 26 and my husband is 38. We didn’t really mind about the gap while we were still dating. 😀 I was 23 and he was 35 (almost 36,single) back when we first met. I’ve been focusing on what truly matters. It’s the love and respect that we have for each other. People will always say something, but it’s not about them. It’s about the two of you. 🙂


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